I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
