But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
