During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
