If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize