you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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