I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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