Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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