So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
