Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Pooping to opera.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
