So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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