I don't think brook has ever known best
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
