You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we're so committed to being not committed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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