omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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