And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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