he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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