you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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