Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
