Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
