eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize