Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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