My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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