I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
