My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
