I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
