but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
