my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
