This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
