u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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