do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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