I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
