Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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