i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
