The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
