ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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