i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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