having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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