omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
