Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
