if you like me you must not know who I am
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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