have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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