I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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