so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
