Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
