Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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