you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
nutella sex= disaster
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
