some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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