Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize