yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
