dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
