the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nutella sex= disaster
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
