I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
