so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
