he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
