i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's always time for handjobs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
