roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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