Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
