That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize