Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
