i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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