im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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