just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I smell like Dick and happiness
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