somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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