i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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