Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
