he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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