my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
