So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
