You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
