we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize