how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
