I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
