Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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